Lover's Holiday
by Star of Heaven
Summary: In many ways, Tenma's journey was not yet over. Tenma x Nina.


_Lover's Holiday_

Disclaimer: I don't own Monster. This fic takes place some time after the series, so it does contain spoilers for the ending. Enjoy!

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_"Danke schön, mein lieber Dr. Tenma."_

In many ways, Tenma's journey was not yet over. Johan still lived, although it was an existence uncomfortably juxtaposed between life and death. Only when Johan awoke and admitted to everything he had done would Tenma's journey be over. A long journey, one spanning eleven years - perhaps that was why Tenma still had an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He had a new life now, but without a clear goal in sight, he supposed he felt as if he was wandering aimlessly. When Johan finally awoke, maybe he would no longer feel so empty.

Of course, there was the chance Johan was only pretending to be comatose, just like he had been when Tenma had first saved him. Tenma still wasn't sure if whether or not he had imagined that conversation in the hospital.

Tenma rolled over onto his back and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling. He rarely spent any time in his own bed, although it was more accurate to say that it was Nina's bed and she was sharing with him. This was mostly her home, as she was here more often than he was. She was a defense lawyer, and he was part of Doctors Without Borders. He was rarely in Germany nowadays, but Nina would always be there to welcome him home.

He felt Nina stir next to him, and she rolled over to face him. "Good morning," she said, lightly kissing Tenma on the cheek.

"Morning," Tenma replied, sitting up. "You have a case today, right?"

Nina nodded and also sat up. "It isn't until noon, so we have a little time to ourselves." She leaned in closer to Tenma. "Are you still bothered by nightmares?"

Tenma lowered his face from Nina's. "Sometimes, but they're not as common anymore," he answered. He inhaled a deep breath and then said, "Nina, can I ask you something about your past?"

Nina slid her hand over Tenma's and squeezed slightly. "Sure," she said.

Tenma lifted his head to make eye contact with Nina. "When you were taken to the Red Rose Mansion the day all those people were poisoned, why were you chosen and not Johan?"

A sorrowful smile came upon Nina's lips and her fingers tightened even more around Tenma's hand. "Our mother dressed Johan up like me so that it would look like she only had a daughter and not twins," she began. "She was trying to hide from Čapek and Bonaparta. But one day they found her and wanted either Johan or me for an experiment. She was about to give them Johan, but then she changed her mind and gave them me.

"It's a painful thing to be given up by your mother, but I think I understand why she chose me. Johan's identity was already in flux because he had to pretend to be me, so maybe our mother gave me up because she thought I would better be able to handle Bonaparta's experiment. Of course, I might just think that because I don't want to see our mother as a monster. She was bitter, and I don't remember ever seeing her smile sincerely."

Tears to well up in her eyes, although none fell, but she tried to keep her voice steady. "But then I told Johan everything, just like Čapek told me to, and he started believing that those experiences were actually his. He had been forced to dress like me, and now he believed my memories were his."

Tenma wrapped his arms around Nina and brought her closer to him. "I'm sorry," he said, Nina's cheek rubbing past his. "I shouldn't have asked about that."

"No, it's okay," Nina replied, returning Tenma's embrace. "They're painful memories, but I don't want to forget them again. This knowledge brings us a little closer to understanding Johan."

_"Which one of us is an unwanted child?"_

The thought crept into Tenma's mind suddenly, and he heard it so clearly in Johan's low, smooth voice; in fact, so clearly it was as if Johan was here in this very room. As if it was Johan Tenma held in his arms, not Nina.

To reassure himself, Tenma brought his hand up Nina's back, and felt her soft hair against his fingers. It was definitely Nina he held in his arms, not Johan. She was every bit as beautiful as Johan, he thought, but she had a warmth in her blue eyes that Johan didn't. Johan used fear and pain to manipulate people, but for Nina, it was her kindness that won people over. Tenma still sometimes found himself thinking of Johan as a monster (and then he cursed himself for thinking that), but if Nina could forgive him, maybe that small spark of humanity in him still had a chance to flourish…

Because Tenma was so lost in thought, he was surprised when Nina suddenly kissed him. Her lips were warm, and so were her hands when she cupped his face. She then slowly pulled her lips away from his and smiled brightly. "Don't daze off," she said. "We only have a little bit of time together today, so let's make the most of it."

"Of course, of course," Tenma replied, blushing slightly, and he and Nina shared another kiss.

ο ο ο ο ο ο

Johan's hospital room appeared the same as ever, and Johan himself appeared as comatose as ever. Tenma, once again sat next to his bed. Tenma visited Johan often, probably too often.

"Johan," Tenma began, reaching out and gently touching Johan's face. "I haven't really forgiven you, and I don't know if I ever will." He let out a heavy sigh. "Still, I don't think of you as a monster. I brought you back to life twice, so I should help you regain your humanity."

Such cold skin Johan had, Tenma thought to himself. But the beeping of the heart monitor assured him that Johan was still alive. "Johan, I know you're probably faking this coma," he continued. "I couldn't have imagined that conversation. Nina's memories matched up with what you told me." He chuckled weakly. "Maybe I should kiss you awake, but this isn't a fairy-tale, and besides, that's rude to do without permission."

Tenma allowed his hand to linger a little longer on Johan's cheek. Hesitating slightly, he then bent over and lightly and awkwardly kissed Johan on the forehead. Tenma's face became red, and then he stood up and left the hospital room. Johan stirred faintly, and a small smile formed on his lips.

"Thank you, my dear Dr. Tenma."


End file.
